THE FUTURE RULERS OF

HUMANITY

THE OVERLORD: BRADSHAW THE BASTARD:

Residing in his forest stronghold in the Bavarian forest, this avid hunter of the weak, stupid and old has spent the greater part of his life planning for his ascension to the world leadership, as described in the main body of the site.

Upon ascension to the world throne as president of the New World Order He decreed the following new laws to meet with the ideals of the new world order:

 

  1. Any man caught shaving a yak on a Tuesday without a sufficient permit and the permission of three chickens and an elf will be executed at dawn with a large chicken, several large pineapples and a certain bodily orifice
  2. Cheese is to be considered a class one addictive substance, the punishment for possession of which is to be stripped naked in front of a large crowd of Ugly, horny bitches, each armed with a tube of toothpaste, a courgette and a pot of KY jelly.
  3. Licenses are required for the possession of the following things:
  6. License required
    7.
  8. Punishment For Violation
    9.
  10. The respiration of Oxygen.
    11.
  12. Death By asphyxiation
    13.
  14. Having two eyes, ears and testicles
    15.
  16. Confiscation of the objectionable Items
    17.
  18. Looking at Women With an intent to screw their bitch-titty brains out
    19.
  20. Covering the offenders body with meat paste and throwing him into a pit of angry 'bitches'
    21.
  22. Firearms
    23.
  24. Being put into a catapult and fired into a wall
    25.
  26. Murder without permit
    27.
  28. A hefty beating
    29.
  30. Helping the old people escape exile to Mars.
    31.
  32. The offender will be made to sponge bath, then dress, then listen to the life story of every single member of his evacuation until he/she dies.
    33.
  34. To say the word 'chism'
    35.
  36. Police Beating.
    37.
  38. Being a child.
    39.
  40. A beating and being sent straight to bed.
    41.
  41. Any man found tied naked to a lamp post on his wedding day will be made to screw a chicken.
  42. Anyone who speaks badly of the Overlord will be cut open. Pissed into, become smeared with jam, electrocuted, repackaged, then sold openly as a delicious food supplement called 'The rest of You bitches had better not get any ideas"
  43. The Punishment for failed suicide is Death
  44. The punishment for successful suicide is Life Imprisonment.

 

Living in the middle of the Bavarian forests, the supreme overlord is ingenious, but also very much insane. Before the revolution he was often to be found standing and laughing at lamp posts, for no apparent reason. Upon ascension to the throne he commanded that

"I have to tell you that I think that the invading threat of the pineapples has become too great to bear: we must end it now."

Then having every single pineapple on the planet systematically destroyed. Nuts. And so he set about with the first great purge, the eradication of cows.