WINNIE THE DUMP BRINGS HOME THE BACON.

One day in the hundred acre wood Pooh was picking the remnants of a badger from his teeth and wishing that he could add a little variety to his diet of roadkill, rodents, and the infrequent campers who liked to pitch their easily destroyed tents in the Hundred acre wood. Just then Rabbit appeared.

"Hello Pooh, how are you today?" asked the rabbit, unaware of his impending destruction.

"I'm fine," said Pooh, with a smile on his face, but could you pass me that little doggy bag of 'Honey' here please?"

"Why certainly", said the rabbit as he bounded over to the bag. He tripped the wire that Pooh had set, it sprang up, twisted around his weak little neck and suspended him, with a broken neck, three feet above the ground.

"NOBODY TOUCHES MY HONEY, YOU STUPID DUMBFUCK RABBIT PIECE 'O' SHIT!!!!!!" Screamed pooh at the now inert rabbit.

"But he didn't touch it." Said fluffy, the most annoying of all of Pooh's voices." As he defiled the dead body of the Rabbit, pooh decided that he would poke fluffy out of his head with a screwdriver, and afterwards he would set about solving his earlier problem of food.

"Hooray" said piglet with an agonisingly high pitched squeal, "I have been invited to a dinner party at last!" In his excitement he temporarily forgot how to read the words 'Have a bath, clean all of your orifices with a fine toothbrush and give your major muscle groups a bit of a going over with a meat tenderiser.' Not that it would really have mattered. Piglet was a large, fat foul piece of shit who didn't have any friends, he would happily have gone to Pooh's house, even though the local blacksmith had recently had orders for several large meat knives. He put away his noose, his shotgun sawn into the convenient shape of a pig's mouth and the large bottle of painkillers that Piglet always kept beside his Bed, in case the ghost of his dead brother finally overpowered him, and he had to kill himself. He set off to Pooh's house."

"My therapist says it's good to socialise." Said that fat, disgusting piece of shit in his wavering, piggy voice."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Yelled Pooh as he swung the meat cleaver that he held in his hand into the centre of Piglet's fat, distgusting head. All night long the noises of pain and fear were to be heard echoing from the hundred acre wood, as pooh attempted to replace the large amount of his own brain that he had removed, by indulging in a little open brain surgery on piglet.

"Looks like I've brought home the bacon!" Said Pooh to himself as he muched on the raw intestines of his dismembered friend.

"Why, yes you have" came the hauntingly familiar whining voice from the inside of Pooh's bandage covered cranium.

Pooh's anguished screams can still be heard if you go down to the hundred acre wood. If you ant to find him, just follow the trail of grey matter that is currently scattered around.