WINNIE THE DUMP GOES APESHIT

A Happy, Friendly. Children's story.

One sunny day in the hundred acre wood Pooh was getting ready to go out to get some 'Honey'.

"This should impress the bitches" he said to one of his many other personalities as he lubricated his fur with lard. Just then there was a knock on the small wooden door of his cottage 'hideout' "Shit" though Pooh "That'll be that fag Christopher Robin. He's always trying to queer me up.

"Oh open the door you silly bear" said Christopher Rubbing (As Pooh sometime wittily referred to him.) in his shrill, nasal voice. That's when Pooh got mad. "No-one talks like that to me" he thought. He put on a false smile, went over to the door and opened it.

"Would you like to come in for some milk?" Said Pooh, his voice dripping with honey.

"But you eat honey you silly bear!" Said Christopher Robin as he stepped through the door.

"Yeah," said Pooh, "Suck my fucking cock!" commanded Pooh as he slammed the heavy wooden door into his guest's fragile skull. With a satisfying crack his body fell to the floor.

"I TOLD YOU NEVER TO FUCKING SPEAK LIKE THAT TO ME AGAIN" Screamed pooh. "Oh… wait a minute, no I didn't. Pooh almost soiled himself at his own joke. He couldn't help feeling that it was a shame that there was no-one around to hear it. It didn't matter anyway, he would have had to have killed them shorthly afterwards anyway as he could not afford any witnesses. He Mused over this point some more as he dragged the limp body of Christopher Robin nto his living room and deposited it onto the fire.

"So long Corpse-topher Robin." Pooh said to himself. This time he found it impossible to contain himself.

One clean pair of pants later Pooh decided it was time to go clubbing. He couldn't help thinking that it was a shame that he lived in the hundred acre wood, although the weather was good and it hid him from the authorities, there were surprisingly few seals who lived there, and the ones that did Pooh had clubbed Long ago. But still, he had enjoyed the exercise, and it gave him and opportunity to wander around scaring people and swearing. After putting out the fire that Christopher Robin's corpse had enlarged and sustained, he set off.